Planning a wedding can be overwhelming, but you can have a Mindful Wedding with a Wedding Coach.
Being the centre of attention can be pretty scary too, but with the right tools and emotional grounding, you can get through both of these situations with ease.
How do I do that? I hear you cry. Well, with the aid of a Personal Coach such as Emma McIntyre of Enlighten Coaching who I happened to spend an afternoon with asking her lots of questions about what she does and how she helps people.
Emma lives in North Wales with her dog Lizzie the Rottie-Boxer. They spend their time together walking the Welsh hills. And while Lizzie dozes, Emma enjoys playing classical and traditional jazz tunes on the piano or practising yoga. Emma finds that these activities help to keep her grounded and reflect on what is happening to herself and her clients so she can give them her best.
Let the interrogation begin! ????
What is it that you do?
I am a Personal Coach, and this means I help people empower themselves so they can reach personal and professional goals.
How did you get into this and did you have training?
(smiles) I started by reading books to research ideas about personal reflection that I had heard about and then went on to do a taster course with Coaching Academy.
This inspired me to take the diploma courses in Personal Performance, Personal Coaching, and NLP.
Before you ask – NLP is Neuro-Linguistic Programming. It’s the term for explaining how our thoughts and feelings are linked to our behaviours and actions. It also highlights that by changing our approach to feelings or actions we can change our behaviour.
This is a real positive especially for those clients who think they are permanently stuck, and I can remind them that change is possible.
NLP can also help with communication skills with our self and our inner monologue so we understand how our thoughts and feelings can impact on ourselves as well as others. It also works to improve communication with our friends, family, and work colleagues.
Really, it’s all about making people aware of or giving them the tools to help themselves. It’s very rewarding.
You’ve touched on this already, but specifically, what do you offer a client?
In general, I help people with:
- Health and Wellbeing
- Managing Stress
- Enhancing Relationships
- Creating a Work/Life Balance
- Breaking Bad Habits
- Conflict Resolution
Ah, some of those could be very useful when planning a Mindful Wedding or getting through the Wedding Celebration feeling happy and confident.
Yes, with Wedding Clients, I work on building empowerment and confidence by developing positive anchors. Anchors are objects or memories that we can hold to help us recall feelings that will ground us in the moment. This stops negative emotions taking over.
I also help Wedding Clients with maintaining their wellbeing and balance and being more conscious or mindful of when to take time to pause.
These all help in situations that my clients don’t feel comfortable with, such as: communicating with an overbearing relative or friend; the pressure of the build-up to the Wedding Day; walking down the aisle; making a speech or taking to the floor in the First Dance.
Have you an example of this in action?
There was a bride who struggled greatly with the idea of being the centre of attention. Her biggest fears for the wedding day were the walk down the aisle and giving a speech.
I have a Tool Box of objects I can use to help my clients, and with this woman, I used my Hoop of Excellence. (A purple hula-hoop.)
My first question to the bride is how do you want to feel during these times?
Her answer was: Beautiful. Confident. Comfortable.
And we break this down into each individual feeling. I ask the bride to imagine a time when she felt confident. I ask her questions to recreate this memory in as much detail as possible.
Then the bride steps into the Hoop of Excellence and we repeat the exercise, building up layers of detail, physical and emotional sensations to make it as real as possible.
And we do this again with the other ways she wants to feel too.
It’s not a quick fix but usually takes 2-3 sessions.
It takes a little practise to be able to recall the positive memories and emotional sensations, but at the end of our time, the bride was able to do this on her own. No hoop, just herself ready to walk down the aisle and make her speech feeling confident, comfortable, and beautiful.
Why have a Wedding Coach? Can’t I just use a friend?
It’s understandable to feel overwhelmed by the build-up to your wedding day and it’s empowering to know you have the tools to take control.
A friend is a great support, but sometimes friends and family come with expectations that can feel like judgements or we place our own judgements on them, which in turn can affect our behaviour.
As a Wedding Coach, I’m impartial. I am there simply to guide you to feel more positive and mindful about a situation, therefore, enabling you to handle that situation more positively.
And the time spent doing this is time spent on you. I have no expectations and no angle to play on your day that people who know you may bring.
And I can be there the day after to help you realise and reflect on what you have achieved and help you understand that you can achieve that success and strength again in different situations.
When should I get a Wedding Coach if I am feeling nervous about my wedding? How much time does it take?
When is a personal judgement call. Only you know how you are feeling and if it feels more than you can currently deal with.
Personally, I start with a free 30-minute consultation. Here we can highlight specific areas that could be helped with some coaching.
After that, it’s up to you how many sessions you think you will need. I recommend a minimum of two, but longer blocks are available too.
Some sessions are better in person, while others can be done over the phone or by Skype.
If I want to have a Mindful Wedding with a Wedding Coach, how would I choose a coach?
- Membership of professional bodies
- A code of ethics
If your coach has these, then check to see how they work with their clients.
As I said, some techniques, like NLP, are better in person, but others are fine over the phone or via a video call.
Check also how they provide their service. Is it one-to-one or in a group? Which would you prefer?
And finally, but probably most important after qualifications: do you feel comfortable with this person?
Are you there on the day? Or can a bride/groom/couple contact you on the day?
I am available for the day if needed by phone or as a physical presence.
Over our sessions together, I would have helped you build your own Empowerment Tool Box with techniques and/or objects that help you feel more ready to handle your day in a positive and mindful manner. These are what you would rely on and I would be there as a back-up to remind you: you can do this!
Top 3 Tips for Having a Mindful Wedding with a Wedding Coach
- Have your Empowerment Tool Box ready: positive memories, songs that bring you joy, anchors that make you feel strong.
- Make sure there are specific times in your day where you can “pause”. Take time alone, with your partner, or with your Wedding Coach to reflect on your day: what’s happening, how you are feeling, and most important – what you have achieved.
- Remember to ENJOY – you are marrying your true love.
Mindful Weddings and Wedding Celebrants
You may wonder what having a Wedding Coach and a Mindful Wedding has to do with a Wedding Celebrant? Well, having a bespoke ceremony written by a celebrant specifically for you and your needs means you will feel even more confident about your Wedding Day.
Working with me, as a Wedding Celebrant, means I can put in key phrases to your ceremony that will remind you of the work you have done with Emma or your chosen coach.
We both want you to have the BEST day and many Moments To…feel joyful and mindful.